Gratitude and Patience
I was about to sit down to write this devotional when I looked out the window and saw that it is pouring down buckets of rain outside. I was overjoyed just as I always am when it rains. I was deprived of it for so long in CA that for me, it can never rain too much and as you can see, I can’t stop talking about it. I used to work for a private university where we had ceiling to floor windows in my office and with the sighting of the tiniest dark cloud in in the sky, or only a few droplets of water on the window from a drizzle, I would rush over to window and loudly proclaim “It’s raining!” Oh how the eyes would roll. One morning our Director walked in and out of our office quickly passing by my desk he placed a note on it without stopping. I read the note it said: “Liana you are a rare breed, rare indeed. You are a pluviophile.” I immediately felt insulted thinking he called me something derogatory. Unlike any other time in my past, I considered who this is, took a step back and thought best to look the word up. To my knowledge this guy would never say a harsh word to me or anyone and I honestly didn’t know what it meant. If you don’t know what it means, it is “One who loves rain; one who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.” He was so right and to find that he said something so beautiful about me was consistent with his personality; and because YAHWEH had changed my heart and mind, I was saved from making a mistake I don’t think I would have easily recovered from.
Thinking back on this time I can’t help but to write about my gratefulness for some of the things He has changed in my life so far and the beauty He has shown me in people, like the kindness of this Director and people like him. So, between that time and now has everything been a beautiful piece of cake? Not at all. However YAHWEH has been teaching me to consider the bad times and what I have learned from them. I used to be and can still be a type A extremely impatient person. One may ask “So then Liana, how are you different now?” Well now I care about my behavior and whether or not I’m being ungrateful or impatient where in the past I did not; it matters to YAHWEH therefore now it matters to me. It says in Romans 8:28 And we know that those who love ELOHIM are helped by him in everything for good. He has been there through it all, my bad decisions, tests and bad behavior. It is difficult to be grateful in the worst of times but somehow if you stay busy drawing near to Him, He will not only draw near to us, but He will teach us patience. When things are bad, I just want to get to the other side of it and patience in those times is like gold.
There was another particular time in my life where I felt like I had absolutely no control. I had suffered a number of losses and was in the process of trying to put my life back together. What I didn’t know at the time is that it was YAHWEH who was in control. I was in that same job I mentioned earlier, barely making it, always financially in the negative, selling soap on the side, looking for a new job, and beginning my masters program in a technical field which by the way was so difficult it may as well have been quantum physics. I was obtaining the degree from the university I worked at and the director of the department came to my office and asked me over to hers. She let me know that they were sun downing (ending) the program in which I was obtaining a degree in, and since I just started it only 2 months prior, I and about 9 others were too new in the program to finish with the cohorts who were in their final terms. I was dismayed and felt my whole world cave in again. I didn’t even really want a masters per se, I only applied because I heard with a masters I can instruct at college level and figured at some point I can do this in retirement. I didn’t want any other kind of degree as that school is primarily a liberal arts school and I was already working in the technical field, so it made since to obtain a technical degree. I recall talking to my sister and saying, “I don’t even know why I try to plan or want for anything in my life because everything I attempt fails.” I had been applying for jobs at other companies for the last 5 years to no avail and now this. I said “I don’t even know why I pray, why I have changed my life in order to get closer to God, (which is what I called Him at that time), when He doesn’t even hear me, or care what I want; well now I don’t want anything because obviously God (YAHWEH) does not want me to get this degree so now it just doesn’t matter, I’m just gonna let my life do whatever cause whatever!” 😔…I was so frustrated and disillusioned and knee deep in complaining. My sister was silent the entire rant and when I finished she said. “Well, that has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth. So, because they sunset your program, you now think you will never get that degree? There are many ways of getting that degree and now you’re just gonna do nothing? Just because the road to getting your degree is not going in the direction you thought, does not mean He doesn’t have another plan for you to get it in some other way.” My eyes were opened so wide as my sister is wise, but I have never heard such wisdom from her on the things of our Father. I know now, the RUACH intervened because she was right.
That night I had to attend the Farmer’s market to sell soap, because regardless, I had to keep plugging away, I was literally the working poor yet selling soap brought me joy even if on a night where I didn’t make much money. Talking to and meeting so many people and laughing all night with the girl next to me who sells bamboo pillows and sheets gave me a break from the stress. The pillow girl knew my situation and in the midst of us laughing about something random, she said “You know Liana, you’re pretty happy aren’t you? You just don’t have a lot of money is all, but you’re happy.” YAHWEH literally made me take a pause to consider, and with every confidence and sincerity in my being; I said ”Yes, yes I am.” It was true, I was happy and it’s even more true now. Even in the midst of disappointment, YAHWEH steadied my heart and did not let me stay there. I wasn’t fully awake then, but had purposed in my heart to pursue Him more diligently; to James 4:8 Draw near to ELOHIM, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, O you sinners! and purify your hearts, O you doubtful mind! The RUACH through my sister saved me from wallowing in doubt. I praised YAHWEH later on for allowing me to see the change He made in me through another. At that moment it was the beginning of a new beginning in my life. He literally took me by the hand and showed me through others how to trust Him and my life began to rebuild in a manner that pleased Him. I was allowed back into the degree program and completed it, got a new job and I have been rolling deep with YAHWEH ever since. There were some bumps and tragedies along the way; still He proved Himself faithful to me through it all.
After that time in my life, I purposed to be grateful in everything regardless. I’ve not perfected this but I am intentional about it. This way of life has allowed me to endure, allowing Him to finally awaken me to a path that I can never turn from. I am also reminded of James 1:2-4 My brethren, take it as a joy to you when you enter into many and varied temptations; 3: For you know that the trial of faith will increase your patience. 4: And let patience be a perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, lacking nothing. About a year ago I saw a teaching; it was a video by someone who is now a brother in the Faith. It is titled “Endure with patience and never COMPLAIN! I was flabbergasted to learn just how much and to what extent YAHWEH hates complaining and that we are to be grateful in every situation. I realized that when we are grateful, it is the evidence of our faith and trust in Him and this video was confirmation for me that I was truly being led by our Father YAHWEH. I knew then why He brought me down the path He did allowing me to see the change in my heart. I love our Father YAHWEH and His Son YESHUA and YAHWEH willing, I’m just getting started on this journey to do all I can for His Kingdom. In retrospect, there is really no reason to complain, be impatient or ungrateful when in covenant with the Father, He takes care of everything for us. It is true of Isaiah 26:3-4 Thou wilt keep us in perfect peace, for in thee we have trusted, O YAHWEH, for ever and ever. 4: For YAHWEH ELOHIM is an everlasting strength.
So you see, things like my dog chewing up my brand new couch (Yeah he did that), working too many hours on my job, losing friends and family for my faith, getting called insane on Instagram because I believe we should call YESHUA by His given name, and even experiencing death in the family, we must remain diligent in being grateful and patient to our ELOHIM as He continues to work it all out for us and besides; along the way He gives us beautiful little gifts we love like the rain He brought me today, pictured above. Sometimes I feel like an only child 🤭. So let’s put our hand to the plow, no looking back, showing gratitude and patience in all we do. HalleluYAH!
Shalom!
Just a few supporting verses:
And we know that those who love ELOHIM are helped by him in everything for good.
-Romans 8:28
Draw near to ELOHIM, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, O you sinners! and purify your hearts, O you doubtful mind!
-James 4:8
My brethren, take it as a joy to you when you enter into many and varied temptations; 3: For you know that the trial of faith will increase your patience. 4: And let patience be a perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, lacking nothing.
-James 1:2-4
Thou wilt keep us in perfect peace, for in thee we have trusted, O YAHWEH, for ever and ever. 4: For YAHWEH ELOHIM is an everlasting strength.
-Isaiah 26:3-4
Be joyful always 17: Pray without ceasing. 18: In everything give thanks; for this is the will of ELOHIM in YESHUA HA’MASHIACH concerning you.
-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Whether therefore you eat or drink, or whatsoever you do, do all to the glory of ELOHIM.
-1 Corinthians 10:31
Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father oflights, with whom there is no variableness nor shadow of change.
-James 1:17
O give thanks to YAHWEH, for He is good; for His mercy endures for ever.
-Psalm 118:29
Rooted and built up in him, and established in the faith as you have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving.
-Colossians 2:7
And not only so, but we also glory in our tribulations; knowing that tribulation perfects patience in us; 4: And patience, experience; and experience, hope; 5: And hope causes no one to be ashamed; because the love of ELOHIM is poured into our hearts by the RUACH HA’KODESH which is give to us.
-Romans 5:3-5
But thanks be to ELOHIM, who has given us the victory through YESHUA HA’MASHIACH.
-1 Corinthians 15:57
Therefore, receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us hold fast that grace whereby we may serve and please ELOHIM with reverence and godly fear;
-Hebrews 12:28
By him, therefore, let us always offer the sacrifice of praise to ELOHIM, that is, the fruit of the lips giving thanks to His name.
-Hebrews 13:15