Dying to Self
This image reminds me of the narrow path. Driving on this road can be intimidating when passing huge semi trucks but the several times I have been on this road, it looks just like this; empty. Dying to self often leads to a life like this; a narrow, intimidating road, traveled alone. However this physical life is but a vapor James 4:14, and our eternal lives with the ELOHIM is what we are striving for right? Well, let’s get to it.
Luke 9:23 Then He said in the presence of everyone, He who wishes to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his stake every day and follow me. 24: For he who wishes to save his life shall lose it; but he who loses his life for my sake shall save it. This is a pretty tall order. I remember when I first heard this years ago as a new christian where back then I was saying “cross” still, I needed to understand what denying myself meant and taking up my execution stake. My overall understanding was that I just needed to believe in Him and model my life and decisions after Him; but really, what does that look like?
I have been walking this narrow path for a little over 2 years now, and a wise person once said to me, “The minute you say to yourself, I can’t stop doing this, or I can’t let that go, then it’s a stronghold.” I realized that even after cleaning up my act, I STILL had strongholds in my life. So I cleaned further. The clothes I wore, all selected without any regard to how YAHWEH wants me to dress and represent Him; all thrown out. The music I listened to, never praised YAHWEH, all now in a land field somewhere. The 7th day of the week, where I sold products in farmer’s markets and brunched with friends; done away with and I now keep Shabbat. It has been a difficult transition but you know something, once I let the RUACH in, all those things I start doing for YAHWEH, I began to enjoy doing for Him. He really does draw nigh to us in our obedience and I don’t want to be anywhere else other than under His wing, I don’t want to talk about anything else, and I don’t want to do anything to cause His RUACH to leave me. So I should be good now right? I am. However dying to self means more than all that I have mentioned above. Last week I discussed the ideology of “fair” and as someone determined to only focus on YAHWEH’s since of fairness and justice, I realize that when operating in the world this is ignored. Well, since I can’t change the world, I must change the way I work within it and respond to it allowing YAHWEH to change it as He sees fit and this can be frustrating; but recently I have come to understand why this is so frustrating.
Growing up in the world and being raised by it, I’ve picked up some nasty habits disguised as psychological and emotional growth. In the late 90’s and on into the mid 2000’s I used to listen to a christian radio station that airs various pastors’ sermons. This station also aired a show where christian counselors would take calls from the listening audience and answer questions; giving advice from a christian perspective. This sounds good and healthy but what I’ve come to realize is that all answers and advice should come from scripture alone. However at that time, I was on board with this team of Phd’s and adopted their new way of speaking when engaging in difficult conversations and disagreements with others. I call it the “I feel” language. Many psychologists and counselors teach this and it should have raised a red flag with me when I saw even secular counselors on television talk shows like Oprah communicating the very same damaging, mentally stagnating, ideology. Since this is a christian broadcast, which by the way still airs today, of course I believed I was in line with what my Father YAHWEH wanted from me. I was wrong.
It was easy for me to adopt this ideology. It made sense because I was still very much part of the world and in the midst of any disagreements, I had the tendency to be aggressive in getting my point across either trying to be heard, or not wanting to be misunderstood. So when I heard this revolutionary concept; I was all in. Many of the people calling in to receive advice from these counselors struggled the same in their arguments with their children, siblings or spouses. The counselors identified a common trend where one speaking to another would start sentences accusingly with words like these: “You always”, “You never”, “You’re the one who”. It was then taught to the caller as well as the world to never again start a sentence when in a disagreement or argument with someone this way, but to say “I” then state how you “feel”. Apparently this disarms the listener, helping them to see how their behavior affected you, causing them to relate; thereby preventing them from disregarding how you feel; allowing them to understand your point of view. There is only one thing wrong with this; at it’s very core truly, no one cares how anyone feels.
My opinion, how we feel has nothing to do with anything. This is another caveat of dying to self and the stronger I become in this walk, the less even I, am concerned with how I feel. All that matters is how YAHWEH feels. All these '‘feelings” I have are birthed from my heart, and we have already been given many verses regarding this. In the scriptures YAHWEH speaks to me stating that when I trust in my own heart, I am a fool. Proverbs 28:26 He who trust in his own heart is a fool; but he who walks with integrity will be delivered. Mark 7:21-23 says, For from within, from the hearts of men come evil thoughts, such as fornication, adultery, theft, murder, 22: Extortion, wickedness, deceit, lust, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness; 23: All these evils come from within, and they defile the man. These verses should be deeply pondered and understood by the reader. What I understand when I read these verses is that when left to myself, at my core I am simply no good. My righteousness, my morality and even the best decisions I have made in my life on some level has a crack and even if it’s so tiny that it is invisible to the eye, it will slowly get bigger, spread, and one day those decisions will shatter. This is what my life is without the RUACH HA’KODESH and sure the decisions I make without Him may be good enough for this world, may even cause me to be successful, but my goals have changed. My goals now evolve around making it into YESHUA’S Kingdom and spending eternity with YAHWEH-YESHUA. It is impossible to reach that goal without the RUACH.
John 3:30 says, He must become greater and I lesser. This is actually a relief because just as our ELOHIM inhabits the praises of His people Psalm 22:3, satan most assuredly inhabits heated, aggressive or angry discussions and arguments absent of the RUACH. So it is now that I am realizing that in order to become lesser, I need to let go of those heated debates where I “feel”, I have to be understood, or I “feel” I have to be heard, or I “feel” that I have to get my point across or to just simply express, how it made me “feel” when XY and Z was said to me. This entire ideology birthed an annoying saying; “He, she, or they are in their feelings” I contend, we should not be in our feelings, but in the Word. Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith 23: Meekness, self-control; there is no law against these. I am comforted by these verses because I absolutely no longer desire to assert my points, or explain my feelings and in this I am confident the RUACH HA’KODESH is rising in me. I now understand Matthew 5:37 in a more meaningful way: But let your words be yes, yes, and no, no; for anything which adds to these is a deception. It makes so much sense because regardless of even my best intentions, the need to stress my hurt feelings to others or the need to explain why I’m angry, or why I said what I said, or did what I did, can be used by satan to manipulate the listener, i.e. putting them on the hook for how I feel. Unless I am expressing to another love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness or faith; how I feel opposite of these things is irrelevant. If I trust in YAHWEH-YESHUA as I should, simply stating my case is enough and the ELOHIM will get my point across, guard my heart, and protect my reputation regardless of whom the discussion is with or the points I am trying to make.
To conclude, if I am serious about advancing the Kingdom of YESHUA and dwelling in it with our ELOHIM, then the only feelings I should be concerned about is feeling the RUACH HA’KODESH coursing through my spirit, increasing in me, as my flesh decreases. So yes indeed, dying to self is about getting rid of the spiritual and physical strong holds in my life, but as I level up this concept goes beyond that and straight to the heart. YESHUA taught much about our heart Mark 7:6 says: He said to them, The prophet Isaiah well prophesied about you, O hypocrites, as it is written, This people honor me with their lips, but their heart is far away from me, and Luke 7:45 says, A good man brings out good things from the good treasure of his heart; and a bad man from the bad treasure of his heart brings out bad things; for from the abundance of the heart the lips speak. The shape that our hearts are in, and having the right heart is a serious matter to YESHUA. It is crucial for me now to examine my heart and call upon the RUACH for wisdom, so that prior to communicating my “feelings” I am led to communicate based on the teachings and purpose of our Mashiach. His feelings are the only thing that matter, and the goal is to have Him feel that I am a good and faithful servant. Therefore brothers and sisters, won’t you join me? Let’s trash the touchy feely language, die to ourselves, come out of our feelings, and allow instead the RUACH HA’KODESH to rise in us displaying only the beautiful gifts that represent Him.
Shalom!
P.S. This devotional is a bit late due to the appointed times festivities which by the way I am enjoying immensely with my family. I pray the same for you as you gather in your sukkahs in remembrance of all our ELOHIM has done for us.
Just a few supporting scriptures:
They do not know what will happen tomorrow! For what is our life? It is but a vapor, which appears for a little while and then vanishes away.
-James 4:14
Then He said in the presence of everyone, He who wishes to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his stake every day and follow me. 24: For he who wishes to save his life shall lose it; but he who loses his life for my sake shall save it.
-Luke 9:23
He who trust in his own heart is a fool; but he who walks with integrity will be delivered.
-Proverbs 28:26
For from within, from the hearts of men come evil thoughts, such as fornication, adultery, theft, murder, 22: Extortion, wickedness, deceit, lust, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness; 23: All these evils come from within, and they defile the man.
-Mark 7:21-23
He must become greater and I lesser. This is actually a relief because just as The ELOHIM inhabits the prayers of His people
-John 3:30
But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.
-Psalm 22:3(KJV)
But the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith 23: Meekness, self-control; there is no law against these
-Galatians 5:22-23
But let your words be yes, yes, and no, no; for anything which adds to these is a deception.
-Matthew 5:37
He said to them, The prophet Isaiah well prophesied about you, O hypocrites, as it is written, This people honor me with their lips, but their heart is far away from me.
-Mark 7:6
A good man brings out good things from the good treasure of his heart; and a bad man from the bad treasure of his heart brings out bad things; for from the abundance of the heart the lips speak.
-Luke 7:45
If you love me, keep my commandments. 16: And I will ask of my Father, and He will give you another Comforter, to be with you for ever, 17: Even the RUACH of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it has not seen Him and does not know Him; but you know him because He abides with you and is in you.
-John 14:15-17
And now from henceforth we do not know any one in the body; even though once we had known Mashiach in the body, we no longer know Him now. 17: Whoever from now on is a follower of Mashiach is a new creation; old things have passed away; 18: And all things have become new through ELOHIM who has reconciled us to himself by YESHUA HA’MASHIACH and has given to us the ministry of reconciliation.
-Corinthians 5:16-18
But truly I am full of power by the RUACH of YAHWEH, and of justice and of might, to declare to Jacob his transgression and to Israel his sin.
-Micah 3:8
And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they began to speak in various languages, according to whatever the RUACH gave them to speak.
-Acts 2:4